Saint John — Rule number one of New Brunswick political campaigns may now be: make sure you have a backup plan in case your leader gets hit by a bus — figuratively or literally.
In an epic display of Darwinism and pandering, New Brunswick Liberal Leader Brian Gallant was run down today by his own campaign bus while attempting to complete the infamous “In My Feelings” challenge. Now, the kick-off of the Liberal election campaign will be delayed by several days while the young premier recovers from his injuries.
“We were all sitting around the campaign bus trying to think of fun things to post on social media,” recounted NB Liberal Party executive director Keiller Zed. “Then, someone came up with the idea of trying to get something to go ‘viral’ on Instagram. Karine said, ‘You mean like the “In My Feelings” challenge?’ and everyone just blankly stared at her. Finally, someone said, ‘What is that?'”
Four hours later — after watching dozens of online videos and enduring some tortured dance lessons from his wife — Brian Gallant attempted to dance beside his slow-moving bus while Karine videoed from the bus steps. Almost immediately, things fell apart.
“We honestly don’t know what happened,” said Zed, shaking his head. “The bus was going about 10 kilometres per hour, and Brian started to…. ahem…dance. Then, he suddenly vanished, like poof! We stopped and all ran outside and found him about 20 feet away with tire tracks on his chest. We still don’t know how it’s even possible.”
Pop culture expert Kiki Resha declared that the dance fad is now over. “The exact millisecond that a politician tries to imitate a popular dance to go ‘viral,’ that trend is over for good. Nobody cool will ever do it again. Premier Gallant has ruined it for everyone.”
Meanwhile, Gallant’s opponent Blaine Higgs does not plan to join him in a dance-off. “I’m not sure what this dance thing is, but I only do the Wahtusi,” he said.