Fredericton — In what can only be described as a dystopian nightmare for government workers toughing out years at their desks to get that sweet, sweet pension, the Government of New Brunswick has announced that they will be replacing their human civil servants with Chat GPT, a large language model trained by OpenAI, to write all public policy.
According to government spokesperson Mary Letoure, Chat GPT was selected for its impressive ability to churn out pages upon pages of policy documents in record time.
“Our human civil servants were taking too long to draft policy, and we realized that we could replace them with an AI that can do the job in seconds,” said Letoure. “It’s a win-win situation, really. GNB, and thus, the taxpayer, save money by using a free AI tool rather than pay tons of employees, and our human civil servants can finally take that much-needed vacation. It’s just that the vacation is unpaid, and permanent.”
The move has sparked outrage and confusion among the citizens of New Brunswick, who are wondering if their entire lives are now in the hands of an algorithm.
“I don’t know about this,” said local resident Paul Smith. “I mean, what if Chat GPT gets it wrong? What if it decides to pass a law that requires us to wear clown shoes on Tuesdays? We can’t just leave our entire government in the hands of a machine!”
Despite these concerns, the government is forging ahead with its plan to replace all human civil servants with Chat GPT. In fact, they’ve even started using the AI language model to draft press releases about their new policy.
“We’re thrilled to announce that Chat GPT has already drafted several policy documents for us,” said Letoure, reading from a Chat GPT tab open on her phone. “And we’re confident that the policies it’s produced will be just as effective and comprehensive as those drafted by our human civil servants. Probably better, because it’s not a product of the New Brunswick school system.”
However, some citizens are less than impressed.
“I always thought that my government was made up of people who understood my needs and concerns,” said local resident Karen Jones. “Now I’m not so sure. I mean, how can an AI understand the intricacies of the human experience? AI wouldn’t know about happy hour at the Legion, or the cultural importance of Lotto 6/49.”
Only time will tell if the government’s decision to replace their human civil servants with Chat GPT will be a success, or if it will lead to a future where even hard-hitting news is churned out by 11011101010101010001.
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