
Fredericton — The Higgs government has finally revealed what it believes is the root cause of the mysterious excess deaths in the province last year.
The number of so-called “excess” fatalities is the difference between the number of people who usually pass away, and the actual number of people who did pass away in 2021.
In fact, New Brunswick has the highest number of unexplained deaths in the entire country. While many say the pandemic was the cause of higher than normal deaths, the official number of COVID deaths from the government is much lower.
Today, Premier Higgs said the government now believes those unexplained deaths all have one root cause — extreme cases of COVID fatigue.
“Hoo boy,” lamented Premier Higgs grimly. “And I thought high gas prices was bad!
“Now, we can finally see conclusive proof that COVID fatigue was an even more serious problem than we previously thought. We probably should have rolled back restrictions even sooner than we did. Like, I wonder how many of those deaths were caused by masks alone! We may never know.
“And the other thing — my poll numbers were in the toilet through this whole period. Maybe they would have been higher if we’d only listened to those people with the ‘Eff Trudeau’ flags. There are going to be a lot of lessons learned to unpack.”
When challenged by reporters regarding about his wild speculation, Higgs was unmoved.
“COVID fatigue is all we can come up with,” he shrugged. “I mean, it couldn’t possibly be COVID…it’s just a bad cold, right?”