Fredericton — A vague and confusing conference that promises to teach, among other things, vague and confusing metaphors will be taking place in the capital city next week. Attendees are signing up to learn valuable skills such as event management, icebreaker games, morale-boosting chants, firm handshakes and unblinking eye contact.
The conference, titled “Entrepalooza 2016: The Leadering 2” (or E2L2) was thrown together by Nucleus Canada Inc., a company that, according to its website, specializes in “groundbreaking snowball-effects in the leadership and startup community.”
“We have rockstars rocking rockstars, leaders leading leaders and startups starting up other startups just to be able to attend this exclusive event that is open to everyone,” said Nucleus Canada Inc.’s president Sandra Kessler.
“This is actually the first time we’re hosting an event like this in New Brunswick, and we’re seeing an amazing number of people who think that they’re leaders despite not having many friends or social skills. Forget about the economy — this is great news for local morale!”
Dwayne Freeman, a 21-year-old UNB theatre arts student, plans to attend the inaugural event. “I figured this is my big chance, you know? I always have the quickest responses in improv class, and I’m the first to remind everyone to put all the chairs back in order after class,” he bragged. “Most of my fellow students try to leave right away, but thanks to me they get to stay an extra 10 minutes to help out and feel like they made a difference. Now that’s leadership.”
One of the many key speakers at the event is local “rockstar entrepreneur” Tilda Jennings. Her talk, entitled “Volunteering versus voluntelling: Earning a profit without spending a nickel” is nearly fully booked. Jennings insists this is due to the “unique charge-up ecosystem” in Fredericton.
“Not many cities can claim to be the only ‘multi-outlet franchise-booster with hungry young leaders’ in the world, but Fredericton sure can, and mean it — and that’s quite a powerful statement,” said Jennings proudly.
E2L2 will be held at the Fredericton Convention Centre on July 20 at 7 p.m. Admission is $26, but attendees receive a lanyard and a myriad of LinkedIn contacts, which are literally priceless.