New Brunswick — The arrival of the new year brings about a time of reflection as many set goals for themselves for the upcoming months. The list of New Year’s resolutions is often pretty common from person to person in Canada; however, New Brunswickers tend to have a unique local twist on the usual resolutions. With that in mind, here is The Manatee‘s top 10 New Year’s resolutions: the New Brunswick edition.
1. Spend more time with family and friends… travel to Alberta.
2. Lose weight… sorry, we mean ‘lose wait’ as in wait time at the diabetes clinic by showing up before noon.
3. Get out of debt… not the government though, because that would mean raising the HST or closing mostly empty schools.
4. Quit drinking… hard stuff on weeknights.
5. Learn something new… at the community college after you’ve been laid off.
6. Help others… find Richard Oland’s goddamned missing iPhone already.
7. Get organized… make that ‘get organizational efficiencies through workforce reductions.’
8. Be less stressed… about finding your marijuana; it’s about to become legal.
9. Quit smoking… start vaping though. I mean, come on.
10. Volunteer… more unpaid overtime; be grateful you have a job.