Halifax — Twenty-two-year-old marketing guru and scholar of “Dat Good Lyfe” Chad Dudeson has seen nothing but profits since opening his clothing kiosk at the Halifax Shopping Centre last month.
The fashion entrepreneur, along with his associates Josh and Brähd, revealed to The Manatee how this newfound stardom flourished. “I always knew how much of an amazing businessman I was destined to be,” Dudeson said, “but it just seemed that none of my ideas were catching anyone’s attention.”
He then explained that Josh came up with the brilliant idea of simply printing a logo on a cheap piece of clothing. “I just told my boy Chad-Dawg that people don’t care about new things — they just want to pay $39.99 for a $10 shirt with a pasted circle on it or something. Nothing too fancy!”
The business owner admitted that, at first, creating the logo was not simple. “We wanted something that all Maritimers could relate to,” he said. “Our prototype image was a swiggle line attached to an oval, representing football on the beach. However,” he admitted shyly, “people were confused and thought we operated a sperm bank.”
After several discussions and blueprints, the power team came up with an ambiguous horizontal line. “This symbol represents how our economy is flat-lining; it doesn’t get much more Atlantic Canadian than that!”
As for Dudeson’s mother, she believes her son’s business to be quite the success amongst the younger generation. “Oh, my sweetie has been working non-stop buying T-shirts from Walmart and ironing on logos. What a great clothing store — sorry! Sorry, lifestyle!” she corrected after hearing her son yell, “Holy shit Agnes, how many times do I have to tell you that it’s not just a shirt, it’s a WAY OF LIFE?!”
Upon asking the dream team what their motto was going to be, Dudeson said that Brähd is still working on that, but he has a few ideas up his sleeve. “We know that we just need a few key words that people can recognize, something like ‘E.I. Routine’ or ‘Snow Daze Boston Cream.'”
Brähd, a German with a master’s degree in international affairs and a bachelor in English literature, expressed his feelings toward the new business to The Manatee: “I hate my life.”