‘Manatee’ staff demand Kremlin demand an apology from them

‘Manatee’ staff demand Kremlin demand an apology from them

Fredericton — In the wake of a recent controversy stemming from a interview between President Trump and Bill O’Reilly, Russian leaders are “demanding” that Fox News issue an apology in regards to its characterization of Vladimir Putin. The ensuing Twitter storm has put O’Reilly and the dwindling FOX network in the spotlight.

“And that’s all we want for ourselves,” said an anonymous Manatee editor. “If they want us to say mean shit about Putin we’ll do it. We’ll even say things about Russian people and things. Like those nesting dolls, for instance. We hate them and think they’re stupid.”

Since being established just over two years ago, The Manatee has catered to a niche audience of Eastern Canadians. There have been sporadic cases of articles going viral and reaching a global audience.

A second Manatee editor agreed to be interviewed under the condition of anonymity.

“We fuck with people on news-chaser sites, and that’s cool and everything, but sometimes that’s not enough. So we are unequivocally demanding the Kremlin pay attention to us even for just one day.”

The editor specified that the demand for an apology would be most effective if made on a Thursday evening. That way the story could trend all weekend and increase the publication’s readership.

“Putin has saggy boobies and yeah he’s probably a big-time murderer too.”

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