Moncton — Following the announcement of a planned demonstration where women around the world will cease all activities to expose the void caused by a lack of female presence, Moncton man Peter Evans said he expects nothing different for himself and the countless years he’s spent not knowing the tender embrace of a woman.
“If women want to take a day, protest and divorce themselves completely from men, it’ll be par for the course for me,” said Evans while crumpling No Name brand crackers into a bowl of lukewarm clam chowder. “I can only wish that women would ignore me for a day instead of my entire life.”
According to numerous sources, the protest, which may include millions of women globally and could tell an equal number of men why females should be valued will have absolutely no bearing in the least on Evans.
“If anything it’ll be just another kick in the teeth for that poor fucking guy,” said Brian Johnston, a co-worker of Evans and a happily married man.
Adding, “Christ, this is just a cruel thing for him to have to witness.”
Evans, resigning himself to a second-hand couch covered, it appears, with someone else’s long-since-dead cat’s fur, said: “Strike or no strike, I’m still going to wake up the next day on a pillow moist with last night’s tears.”