Manatee staff struggle to compete with reality

Manatee staff struggle to compete with reality

Fredericton — Staff at one New Brunswick satire website are saying it’s becoming harder and harder to get ahead, or even stay afloat due to increasingly absurd times. Shauna Chase, editor of The Manatee, has been particularly exasperated.

“His name is Cortland Cronk? Cortland! Cronk! Never in a thousand years would I pitch a satire piece with such a fake-sounding name. And of course he has a weed plant-food side hustle, because why not,” she said, referring to the New Brunswick man who continued to socialize and do business after experiencing COVID-19 symptoms and getting tested.

Chase said they have seen a decrease in traffic on the website in recent weeks. She attributes the decline to satire articles being harder and harder to point out.

“We had one story about New Brunswick using Grand Theft Auto for driving tests — even if it was real, I don’t think that would have cracked the top five in the current news cycle.”

Between a menswear store which markets “Dangerous” shirts having a COVID exposure, a reporter audibly peeing on a live broadcast, and the story of Cortland Cronk, Chase does not know what could be coming next.

“And then there’s a video of him smoking, where he says that he cannot smell or taste anything, is coughing, then says ‘it’s probably not COVID though.’ It’s all just way too on the nose, but unfortunately for us, it’s real.”

Chase was last heard in the next room over, muttering, “What’s next? Alpine actually does cure COVID? Jesus Christ.”

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