Medavie to demolish pedway to Moncton city hall after insurance switch

Medavie to demolish pedway to Moncton city hall after insurance switch

Moncton — The divide is growing between Medavie Blue Cross and Moncton city hall, and not just figuratively speaking.

The Maritimes’ largest health insurer announced today that they are planning to dismantle the pedway between the Blue Cross headquarters and city hall after Moncton voted this week to switch their health and dental care coverage to Green Shield.

Moncton Mayor Dawn Arnold was clearly disheartened in an internal email on the announcement. “I’m sorry to inform you that city staff will no longer be able to use the pedway to travel to their usual lunch destinations on Main Street,” she said. “We must now use crosswalks and muck around below like the common folk and riff-raff.”

Earlier this week, the Hub City Council announced that it was not renewing coverage with their closest neighbours in downtown Moncton. Instead, Council voted to switch providers to a cheaper option with better coverage.

Caught totally off guard, Medavie reacted saying that they will be shutting down the pedway to foot traffic effective immediately to counter the betrayal. In a written statement, they said will “sever the link permanently using dynamite and bulldozers, or something else totally bad-ass” later this summer.

“They cut me deep,” said Medavie president Eric Laberge, emerging from his office with swollen eyes from extensive sobbing. “We will be raising rates for our other clients just to cover the costs of our own Board of Directors psychiatric bills due to the shock of the separation,” he said. “They were our lobsters…now what?

“We’ve retained the services of an experienced divorce attorney to negotiate a fair separation agreement,” he said. “I know that it’s unusual to hear a business leader talk like this, but we are going to make those bastards suffer…legally speaking.”

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