Nackawic – Elina and Gerhard Ahlberg were touring New Brunswick earlier this month partially for the gorgeous fall colours, but they admitted they’d primarily come all the way from their native Sweden to see the ”World’s Largest Ass.”
When they arrived in Nackawic, however, they were sorely disappointed to see that, though most of the town’s 1,050 residents were morbidly obese, not one of them could lay claim the hugest ass on the planet.
“We’ve seen it all in Stockholm,” Elina, 48, said while dabbing her eyes with an embroidered hanky. “We’ve seen the live sex shows, we’ve gotten high on every substance legal there, and we’ve travelled the world – but we expected to see the world’s largest ass that everyone back home has been talking about.”
The cause of the deception? A headline misprint in Saint John’s Telegraph-Journal replacing the town’s iconic “axe” with a more provocative “ass.” The couple had been subscribing to the TJ online since their initial visit to New Brunswick in 2001, and had continued to do so despite Brunswick News’s preposterous online paywall.
“We’ve always loved the Telegraph — it’s like the Bible to us,” Gerhard, 53, choked out, clearing his throat to hold back the tears. “All they’ve got here is this massive axe and some relatively overweight people. Suffice it to say we’ll never be back to New Brunswick.”
The Telegraph-Journal issued a statement apologizing for their copy editors’ fatal oversight, but only printed it two weeks after the Ahlbergs were safely back in Stockholm.