Fredericton — Times are tough in New Brunswick, and more and more residents are turning to the spiritual arts just to put food on the table.
“I got laid off about a year ago and my E.I. just ran out, so I thought I’d check out this ‘medium’ racket and try to make a go of it,” said Frederictonian Byron Lovehart. “Myself, I don’t believe in the afterlife or ghosts or anything but I sent hundreds of resumés out and had no bites. And it goes without saying that LinkedIn is useless.”
The Manatee asked Lovehart what made him consider entering this obscure line of work.
“Well, I was inspired by Psychic Medium Michelle Russell — I saw people sharing her events on Facebook. She charges like 200 bucks for a group session! I guess people who’ve experienced a tragic loss are vulnerable enough to pay anything. If I have to exploit people in this way to keep a roof over my head, so be it.”
Another Frederictonian is also hoping to cash in on the overflow from popular events like those held by Medium Russell.
“I was doing Scentsy for a bit but as far as I can tell pyramid schemes are out, and spiritual advisers are very much in vogue,” said Sharon Killam of Devon. “I’m holding a psychic guidance seminar on the weekend and I’ve already sold 20 tickets at 400 bucks a pop! All I’ll need to do is tell people I’m talking to their dead relative and that they’re always watching over them or some such bullshit. It’s not rocket science.”
Killam said she enrolled in an online course that took two hours to complete, and now she’s a certified psychic medium.
“It was a gruelling couple of hours but the course had lots of great segments such as ‘turning grief into green.’ Basically you just give someone a personal ‘message’ — which I make up on the spot — from a person who’s crossed to the ‘other side,’ and then they give you money. These people just eat this crap up!
“To kill time you can really just say anything generic like, ‘Your loved one says they have fond memories of a certain time spent with you.’ There’s no way they can call you a fraud that way.”
Killam explained some other tips and tricks for doing psychic readings.
“You can get the person to dig into their pocket and then you make some connection with the change or key or handkerchief they pull out. I’ll just say something like, ‘Oh, that key you have there…that is the key to a house where the spirit currently resides’ or ‘Your loved one says to use that hankie to wipe away your tears, because they are at peace now.’ It’s so easy I can’t believe it’s not illegal.”
Our reporter asked Killam to show off her newly earned clairvoyant skills. She sat at a table and spread Tarot cards upon it, and a perplexed look came over her face.
“You…had a relative or friend or acquaintance who died in…the last 10 to 15 years,” she said, furrowing her brow. As this is of course true, our reporter urged Killam to go on.
“He or she says that he or she loves you very much and that they want to tell you to send a cheque or money order for $400 to the psychic currently giving this reading.”