NB Power ‘very naughty,’ hoping for coal this Christmas

NB Power ‘very naughty,’ hoping for coal this Christmas

Fredericton — NB Power has submitted a list of their misdeeds to Santa Claus, hoping for an abundance of coal this Christmas and beyond.

“With any luck, we will be on the naughty list until 2041,” said CEO of NB Power Keith Cronkhite.

2041 is the year NB Power plans to phase out the coal-fired power plant in Belledune, 11 years past the federal deadline. Cronkhite said the extension of Belledune is expected to save New Brunswickers millions of dollars through a “nicety reduction agreement” with Santa Claus to collect free coal every Dec. 25. Claus has not yet agreed to NB Power’s proposal.

“That’s not the intent of the naughty list,” said Claus. “It is very naughty to abuse the naughty list.”

Cronkhite said NB Power is prepared to take legal action if Claus does not provide 900,000 tonnes of bituminous coal by the end of this year. “All Santa stories promise coal,” said Cronkhite. “What message would it send to children if Mr. Claus does not send us coal? Was it all a lie?

“We have made every effort to be awful: the botched ore emulsion conversion, the prolonged Point Lepreau refurbishment, and Joi Scientific was a total lie. Even Hydro-Quebec won’t touch us and they might be more awful than we are,” said Cronkhite.

Environmentalists are torn on the matter. “We need to get off coal as soon as possible,” said Green Party Leader David Coon. “But then again, the Joi Scientific thing was pretty awful and I don’t think Santa should let that slide.”

Claus says he and Coon have a plan. “I’ll just have to deliver something they don’t want,” said Claus.

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