Scantily clad nightclub-goers somehow immune to cold weather

Fredericton – As the temperatures plunged to nearly -40°C earlier this week, most reluctant New Brunswick residents hauled out their parkas, long johns and thick woollen hats and mitts.

Most, but not all — it would appear that the drastically cold weather has little to no impact on underdressed late-night club-goers, whether they’re waiting in line to get in, or having a smoke between dances. Our reporter visited Fredericton’s newest hot spot last night, Klub Khrome, to interview a few of these scientifically baffling anomalies. What he discovered was quite astounding.

Shannon Fox, 20, was standing in a circle of friends outside the club at about 11 p.m. “I’m not cold at all,” she said, her warm breath turning to a cloud of steam. “And I got this new skirt for Christmas — isn’t it nice?” The black sequined skirt was tight and barely extended to her thighs, but interestingly provided adequate coverage during the freezing January night.

Adele Ryan, 21, was also completely unaffected by the frigid wind and snow. “When you go out to the club, you want to look hot,” she said, her friends huddled around her nodding their agreement. “This dress was marked way down at Envy, and these shoes were like 80 percent off when I went shopping on Boxing Day. It’s not like I’m going to just wait till spring to wear them.” Ryan shivered, then teetered back into the club on her stilt-like heels for another drink.

A researcher from Dalhousie University in Halifax explained that the phenomenon exists throughout the Maritimes, and is not specific to New Brunswick. “The hotter a girl perceives herself to be, the less she’s physically able to experience cold,” said Kelly Kirkland, PhD, during a conference call to The Manatee‘s newsroom this morning. “And, not surprisingly, when she’s drinking heavily and being ogled by men, her perception that she’s hot increases exponentially. There’s a risk of frostbite for these girls, because they simply don’t feel cold like the rest of the population.” Kirkland first became aware of the phenomenon 2 years ago after seeing photos of people coated in frozen foam after the former Nicky Zee’s held one of their infamous “Foam Parties.”

Kirkland said that the next study will be to research what effects, if any, Axe Body Spray has on attracting women to drunken males as Klub Khrome’s male patrons were heavily doused in the spray as a means of attracting the inebriated girls. Surprisingly, the males were all wearing weather-appropriate jeans, coats and toques. Our reporter will be heading to the Tannery again tonight to investigate the phenomenon further.