NB stoners manage to rustle up new audience to be force-fed pot stories

NB stoners manage to rustle up new audience to be force-fed pot stories

Saint John — We’ve all got that one friend who’ll never shut up about weed: where they got it, what strain it is, how much they’ve smoked that day, the many alternative ways to ingest it, its wealth of health benefits, little-known facts about it, and that it should — and will — be legalized.

The reluctant friends of the province’s potheads stopped listening to the boring, repetitive tales long ago. As a result, stoners have had to band together and combine every drop of their resourcefulness to find a new, more willing audience for their dull rambling. The answer? An online marijuana-lifestyle magazine aimed at professionals, socialites, and rich people who normally do other, better drugs.

“They’re an untapped market for us,” said founder of Cornered, Daniel Blaine. “Starting and working on this site lets my friends and I talk and think about weed all day, every day — it’s not just about smoking it!

“And it’s not about slackers on a couch passing a bong around,” he explained from his parents’ basement, handing a brightly coloured bong to our reporter. “It’s about getting high-brow New Brunswickers to listen to us. ‘Cornering’ them, essentially, thus the name of our site. They haven’t tuned us out yet because they haven’t heard our coolest stories. For example, one time I got so high that it felt like I was falling through the floor of my apartment! I wasn’t, but it was still pretty wicked. Without this new magazine, these people would never have had the chance to hear that story, and more!”

“I have no problem with weed,” said Sarah Barnes, one fed-up friend of Blaine. “I’ll smoke it now and then, if it’s being passed around at a party. I like to get a little high — who doesn’t? What I have a problem with is the endless boring stories and the fact that my friends think they’re so open-minded and original. ‘Did you know weed can make you a better runner?’ No, and I didn’t give a shit, either. As if any of my friends run. They don’t really do anything that doesn’t directly involve pot.”

“We want to avoid being too niche, which is why we’re writing stories for politicians, teachers, executives — anyone who isn’t sick of us yet,” Blaine said. “Eventually, we hope to expand in Amsterdam. That’s the dream — there are definitely people there who would listen to us talk about pot. I mean, they all like it, so they should, right? It’s not just about smoking it! Oh wait… did I say that already?”

Check out Cornered next time you want your ideas confirmed by like-minded pot-smokers.

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