New Brunswick — The Gallant government is making a motion to protect the innocent citizens of New Brunswick from the potential health hazards that can be passed on second-hand by the disgusting habits of uncaring pet owners.
Health Minister Victor Boudreau has introduced a bill that will ban dog-walking in any public place where people with allergies might be exposed to the potentially deadly allergens. The location list includes:
- On patios and similar outdoor facilities, and within 3 metres of these patios;
- Within 9 metres of doorways, windows and air intakes of enclosed places and indoor workplaces;
- On or within 20 metres of playgrounds, sports areas and other outdoor public places used by people;
- On or within 9 metres of a public walking or jogging trail;
- Within provincial parks, except in rented campsites, on golf courses and designated areas within the park;
- Wherever anyone who has an allergy might be, including one’s own home if they receive home mailing services;
- Dog parks.
The bill would also ban the walking of Labradoodles even though they’re hypoallergenic, in fear that it may encourage young children to one day get a dog of their own, which could potentially cause health problems for them and others at some point in the future.
The fine for violating the ban is $10,000 for an individual while a business could be fined $25,000 for allowing people to have dogs on their property.
Boudreau says not only will the restrictions limit people’s exposure to harmful dander but, “it will also teach people that they need to be responsible for the health and feelings of others.”
The Manatee spoke to several New Brunswickers who applauded the move. “Finally, I can breathe again!” championed Jim Freely of Fredericton. “I’ve been stuck in my house with allergies for years in fear that I might come across a Golden Lab or a German Shepherd on the sidewalk — I wouldn’t be able to breathe for weeks.”
Debra Holland of Saint John was also thrilled with the recent announcement. “At last, people might begin to understand the dangers of having a dog,” she said passionately. “Not only do they bite, but they make me all stuffed up and make my eyes and nose run uncontrollably — it’s super annoying.”
There are of course those who are opposed to the ban, like Becky Thomas of Hemlock. “I think I should be able to do whatever I want, whenever I want,” she expressed. “The government shouldn’t be allowed to make me stop doing something I like just because it’s dangerous to someone else.”
Boudreau insists that the ban is in the best interest of the people, declaring: “New Brunswick will be a trailblazer when it comes to the safety of its people and to its governing of people doing things that some other people might not like.”
This is ABSURDLY RIDICULOUS.
The liberal government should be impeached! This law and the law about smoking is going too far! Dictating to persons and businesses and not allowing people to show respect and kindness, it’s becoming very like a communist province and I don’t like it at all. Plus having plucked his cabinet and staff from places that have left a very fowl taste in my mouth! They seem to be looking at ways to make a quick buck at the expense of all citizens. I’m sure there are more dumb ideas to come!
this is a violation of every right…so they couple hundred people in the province who have allergies are catered to, instead of the thousands of dog owners…i guess were going to have to ban trees next and grass, because people have allergies to them as well….im allergic to ridiculous people, does that mean i can ban them from being on my patio?
I’m going to take a shot in the dark here and say that this is a satiric article and not at all true.
I would like to see them try to enforce that with Service Dogs. Not happening! Absolutely rediculous.
What a load of rubbish if you have a problem with allergies of dogs go and cross the road don’t ban everyone. What’s going to be next someone has allergies to birds so shoot them all. It’s simple if u have allergies to dogs walk the other side of the road. It’s going to be airborn on a windy day so your neighbours dog from 4 houses up could go in the garden and still set your ‘snifferly’ noise off. How can people ban dog walking when u need to walk them it’s part of been a dog owner.
THIS ARTICLE IS A LOAD OF DOG POO!
This is stupid , cruel to animals. and down right idiotic !!!!!!
Is this the most important thing the government can find to work on?. The roads in the province are worse than pioneer days, health care for seniors is in serious trouble, hospitals are closing. The list goes on and those of us with pets get penalized. Unbelievable!
This article is satirical and is intended to be humorous. Don’t assume everything you read online is true; it will save you from a lot of frustration and/or anger.
This is a joke RIGHT !!!
I think this falls under “stupid laws” where did the Government get the ppl that think
this stuff up, 4dnorth of the SJRH
He’s managed to allienate the senior citizens and now dog owners.
Way to go!
While this article mocks allergies, my life is threatened each time a dog comes within 5 feet of me as I’m severely allergic. So called hypoallergenic dogs are not really hypoallergenic! They simply carry less of some allergins. People like this blogger write from pure ignorance. I’d like to see them fear for their lives because some ignorant pet owner doesn’t get it!
Reblogged this on The Last Furlong and commented:
I really enjoy a site called The Manatee, that reports on the goings on in New Brunswick, Canada. It is satire. All the reports stem from real news and then are turned into gobbledegook. The thing I like best, are the offended comments that come in after every post. This is the one that tickled me today..