New Brunswick man knows every capital city, still can’t find job

New Brunswick man knows every capital city, still can’t find job

Zealand — Kyler Moorehouse-Brewer, 20, has come to the realization that his high school degree has done little to equip him with the necessary skill-set to land a job. He’s been on the hunt since he graduated this past June and has become increasingly frustrated with his failed attempts at securing a reliable income.

“I just don’t get it,” he complained. “I went to school for 12 years, 14 if you count the 2 years of kindergarten, and don’t have a clue what employers are looking for. I did pretty good in class, and learned all of the capital cities in Canada a bunch of times.”

“Go ahead, quiz me,” he dared our reporter. “I know Regina, Winnipeg, Toronto, heck I even know that Nunavut one there — Igaunalit or however ya say it.”

Moorehouse-Brewer’s most recent frustration comes after a trip to New Brunswick’s capital, Fredericton, where he said he handed out “all kinds of notes saying I wanted a job.”

“Gas ain’t cheep when you drive a jeep,” he said, seemingly proud of his poetic prowess. “I usually only go to the city when I need to run errands or catch a hockey game. And I can get cheap smokes from a guy I know there.”

The Manatee asked Moorehouse-Brewer whether he was ever given any training on how to write a resumé and whether he felt let down by the province’s education system.

“You’re sure right I feel let down,” he replied while leaning up against his gas-guzzling 1987 Jeep Wrangler, which ironically boasts a “Conservation” licence plate. “I was never once taught how to find a job, write a resumé or a cover letter. I know that Regina’s the capital of Saskatchewan though. And I know how to dissect a fetal pig, a worm and a fish if you need me to.”

He went on to tell our reporter that he’s not the only one in his family struggling to find work. “My 3 brothers Kyle, Kyland and Kye can’t find anything either. My sister Kyla got lucky though; she found a job at the Walmart in town.”

The Manatee tracked down one of the businesses where Moorehouse-Brewer had said he’d applied, a warehouse in Fredericton, but the manager, Samantha Clover, claimed to have never received an application from him.

“Maybe it’s this one?” Clover questioned as she pulled out a mostly blank piece of loose-leaf from a stack of applications. “Yeah, here it is I guess. I didn’t realize it was an application — all it has is his first name and an address that says ‘Zealand, about a half an hour from Fredericton, the capital city of New Brunswick.'”

  1. Lost it at “The capital city of new brunswick”

  2. See that what wrong with the system he goes and study hard for 12 years and can;t find a job, he may as well quit in grade 5 and got on the welfare list like me and my buddies, we love it more and more, get married and pop a few kids out of her and then get family allowance, that is over 600 a month for each kid, my buddy has 4 and planning another one that 3000 a month.and no blue cross or dential, no wonder all those refuggees want to come to the land of milk and honey. every day is a holiday


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