Office ‘wellness committee’ apparently just bowl of oranges in lunch room

Office ‘wellness committee’ apparently just bowl of oranges in lunch room

Fredericton — TruFuture Solutions, some sort of tech company based in Knowledge Park, reportedly has a “wellness committee,” though none of TruFuture’s employees admit to being part of the committee or to having any awareness of its goals.

“We got a company-wide email a month ago that said the ‘wellness committee’ had left a bowl of fruit for everyone in the lunch room, but it was just oranges — which obviously no one wants to peel at their desk — and there’s been absolutely no evidence of any other ‘wellness’ initiatives,” said Martin O’Donnell, who has been working as a software engineer or tester or something at the company since its inception three years ago.

“I think it’s just another bogus addition to the office that doesn’t really make life better on a day-to-day basis,” said Sara Colby, who must be a programmer or something like that. “Last week there was a note next to the fruit bowl that said there would be a Frisbee game at lunch organized by this same ‘wellness committee.’ I was smoking outside all lunch hour and I didn’t see a Frisbee the whole time — just the usual sad people eating McDonald’s alone in their cars.”

Jeff Olsen, who told us he’s an IT specialist, claims he petitioned his bosses to turn one of the empty boardrooms into a bare-bones gym that employees could make use of at lunch or before work.

“Instead of just doing that, they sent around a memo explaining how important it is to be fit and healthy, and suggested we use our 15-minute breaks to do some quick stretches at our desk,” he recalled. “The memo was supposedly from a ‘wellness committee,’ and it said they’d demonstrate the stretches before work the next day, but as far as I know that never happened.

“Shortly after that, bosses sent an email with a link to an article about how harmful and demoralizing it is to work under fluorescent lights all day,” Olsen went on. “So I replied and asked if they could switch the harsh lights above my desk to LEDs. Never heard anything back about it, but I did get another email from the committee going on about the importance of ‘work-life balance.’ This from the company that makes me work overtime every single day and won’t even give me an ergonomical chair.

“Maybe the oranges themselves are the committee!” he mused.

At press time, all employees had received a new memo about an official “wellness day” taking place every Tuesday for no apparent reason.

“How vague is that?!” asked Gerard LeBlanc, who looked like he’s probably a social media manager. “So, what, does that mean we’ll also get some free apples tomorrow?”

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