P.E.I. to label all crops so people stop trying to smoke them

P.E.I. to label all crops so people stop trying to smoke them

Prince Edward Island — With commercial marijuana farms popping up around the Maritimes, Island farmers are taking steps to hopefully stop people from smoking their non-marijuana crops by planting large billboards in fields to identify what’s growing there.

“Everyone is hot and horny to get their smoke on,” quipped Kingston farmer Joe Davies. “The problem is though, they don’t know the difference between cabbage, corn, hay or Acapulco Gold bud. So, they’re breaking in after dark, taking whatever’s growing and trying to blaze up with it — they’re dummies, you see?”

Signs are posted all across the province showing passersby exactly what’s growing.

The Manatee spoke with one man who was recently caught by farmer Davies while trying to get away with a bag full of beans.

“I just thought this was an easy way to try it out,” he said, also requesting we use his full name. “I’ve been wanting to try weed since it became legal but I didn’t want to buy it at the store in case my mom saw me or something, and I didn’t want to risk getting busted buying it from a dealer. I figured this was my best chance to get my hands on some.”

The young man, whom Davies has agreed not to turn over to the authorities in exchange for some free labour, told us that he doesn’t know what pot looks like and was going farm-to-farm in hopes of successfully scoring some.

“All we’re taught in school is what a potato is,” he explained. “That’s our entire curriculum when it comes to learning about anything about nature…just different types of potatoes and everything potato-related. We never hear about all this other stuff like barley and cabbage and carrots — definitely nothing to do with weed.”

The program is only about 70 per cent complete at this point and officials from the Department of Agriculture are calling on people to use common sense until all signs are posted.

“When in doubt, it’s probably a potato,” said Sandra Bauer, department head. “I mean — come on, people, we’re on P.E.I for goodness sake! It’s always a potato.”

Bauer also added that “pot” is not short for potato.

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