Harvey Station — Every year on Christmas Eve, “NORAD Tracks Santa” tracks Kris Kringle as he leaves the North Pole and delivers presents to children around the world. Excited youngsters can follow Santa’s progress in real time on the Internet. Two concerned parents in Harvey Station are hoping that, this year, NORAD can track their wayward daughter on Dec. 24.
Keeping tabs on their 16 year-old daughter Chrissy has been a struggle, say parents Merle and Belinda Coldwater. “She takes off somewheres every Christmas Eve and don’t come home until real late,” said the clearly emotional father. “Last year, she said she was going to Mass, and instead, she got drunk and passed out in the bathroom of the Ultramar down the road. The year before that, she was supposed to be at Bingo but got caught shoplifting deodorant at the drug store. We hope them fellers at NORAD can put a tracker or a GPS or whatever on her so we can track her on the computer or the Wii.”
NORAD officials were not immediately available for comment, but in an email suggested that its resources will be focussed on “aerial phenomena and not terrestrial targets at this time.”
“We already got 3 grandkids because we weren’t watching her close enough,” said Belinda. “We ain’t got room for no more. If Chrissy can’t watch out for herself, we need all the help we can get.”