‘Twas the night before Christmas in New Brunswick

‘Twas the night before Christmas in New Brunswick

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Everybody’d been drinking, most had passed out

There were cans emptied of Alpine, Budweiser and Moose

There were shots left of JägerFireball and Grey Goose.

Everybody was sleeping, they lay there so still

Save for one in the bathroom, awake being ill

Their bodies were sprawled across the livingroom floor

Some sat with heads rested on the walls and the door.


The night started with dinner, which was fit for a king

There were pizza and fiddle heads, and salmon poutine

There was wine flowing  aplenty, beer and hard cider

Chicken wings, samosas, and cheeseburger sliders.


We played beer-pong, watched curling and drank to be merry

We gave presents with cheer and Skyped with friends in the Prairies

Those friends couldn’t come home as their work had run dry

They didn’t have money saved for plane tickets to buy.


As I lay all tucked in, snug in my bed

Visions of stars were spinning in my head

I felt slightly nauseous but hoped it would pass

I swore this night of drinking would sure be my last.


Then all of the sudden, I heard a faint noise

Steps on my rooftop, so I went to get my boys

We ran out the front door and looked to the roof

We saw a shadow of a man up there, acting aloof.


Who could be up there? Who’d risk breaking their neck?

One of my friends asked inquisitively: “Hey, what the heck?”

Was it Santa Claus up there, delivering gifts for us here?

No, it was Jimmy, looking for more beer.


Seems he stumbled out the window while sleeping upstairs

He was looking for a drink with no worries or cares

His footing was shaky and his balance was lost

He fell from the rooftop, slipping on frost.


We took him to the hospital by way of a cab

Only waited 10 minutes, for a taxi to grab

We got to emergency and took him in quick

She said it would be hours for a doctor because we live in New Brunswick.


We waited and waited until the doctor arrived

He wrapped Jimmy’s ankle and said, “He’s lucky to survive”

He gave us a smile, a wink and a wave

He said, “Merry Christmas to you all, go home and behave!”


So, home we all went and rested for the night

Awoke around noon-time by the shining sunlight

We drank coffee and told stories, of the night just before

Then we cracked open some Alpine, and each said ” Just one more.”




Share your thoughts. We reserve the right to remove comments.