Moncton — According to students of Edith Cavell, a combined elementary and middle school in Moncton, the little baby princesses of Northrop Frye (also K-8) are requiring additional staff to escort the poor little sissy babies to go poo-poo.
With areas of the school currently under construction, teachers have deemed it unsafe for the scared little crybabies to go to the washroom unattended, Cavell students say, but with the school already overcrowded, new staff will be needed to help take the poor little nancies through the big scary construction area so they don’t pee their pants.
“I bet they have to wear a helmet and a lifejacket too,” said 8-year-old Ryan Peters of Cavell. “And I heard the school ran out of tissue from drying all the little baby tears away.”
In addition to escorting the namby-pamby wussy children to the washroom, Cavell students speculated that the new hires will also be required to hold the hands of the frightened little pansies and wipe their precious little baby butts.