Report: Burn bans don’t apply if you were going to have a really sweet bonfire

Report: Burn bans don’t apply if you were going to have a really sweet bonfire

Halifax — When police or fire marshals show up to your illegal bonfire, you may be able to avoid a fine — if that fire is awesome enough.

That’s the official statement from Karen McMills, a¬†provincial fire prevention officer for Nova Scotia.

McMills said that while North America is seeing more and more raging wildfires year after year from climate change paired with careless campfires, it’s worth the risk if you had big plans for a really sweet bonfire with some friends.

“If you’ve got a crappy small fire and it spreads into a big forest fire, then yeah, you’re in trouble,” said McMills by phone. “But if you’ve got this massive fire roaring with close friends, some beer, and sweet summer tunes playing, then we totally get it, no worries.”

McMills said that while people are not supposed to have fires during official burn bans, there will be no repercussions for those who do, if the fire is gauged as “really great, sweet, awesome, or killer” by any officials who witness it.

“So yeah, if you’re going to have a fire during a burn ban, it better be a really really good one,” elaborated McMills. “Make it worth it. Don’t wipe out a whole forest for a wimpy fire with just you and your spoiled single child. Make sure their friends are over and you and some other parents whip out a guitar and a 24-pack.”

Some Nova Scotians are glad to have their suspicions confirmed.

“All my fires are epic — anyone will say so,” said Parrsboro resident Billy Hughes. “There was one fire I had where we accidentally burned down a Christmas tree plantation, but that’s only because me and some buddies threw a box of fireworks into the fire pit to see what would happen. It was really cool and totally worth it. The cops thought so too.”

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