Miramichi — With the last remnants of Christmas mania starting to fade, Mike and Jennifer Kaddoe once again are vowing to do “everything very very differently” for the holidays next year.
As it was with many past Christmases, the 2022 holiday season left the Kaddoes run ragged with overspent budgets and painful indigestion.
After taking stock of the month of December, both say that they will not repeat these same mistakes next year — a vow they have made and failed to keep every year since 2011.
“Like, I’m starting to Christmas shop for next year now,” implausibly promised Jennifer. “I’m going to hit up those Boxing Day sales and find some deals! Of course, we can’t do it early for the kids because they change their minds every five minutes…but you know what I mean! As soon as I pay off a couple of things, I’m going to get it started!”
“Also, we are taking charge of our Christmas schedule next year!” pledged Mike deludedly. “We are not letting the kids get us up at 4 a.m. to be in a bleary-eyed daze all day!
“And, we aren’t going to spend the entire day on the road again because my mother guilt-tripped me into a whirlwind dinner three hours away!”
“We also decided to start intermittent fasting in mid-December next year, so we don’t eat any of those Christmas treats or huge meals,” they said overoptimistically. “Yuck, who needs those huge dinners? We haven’t pooped in three days! We’ll just watch everyone eat and drink water. It will be fine.”
Finally, the Kaddoes vowed to have an entirely “Dry December” by swearing off alcohol in all its forms. “We don’t need to drink to have fun at Christmas parties or to blow off that holiday stress!” vowed Mike laughably. “Or to deal with my family or the craziness of the kids, or to relax after the crazy weeks at work. Or, to wind down after going to the Costco or Walmart, or take the edge off before the Christmas concert, or –”
“Suffice it to say, no booze at all,” Jennifer interjected. “Or at least, no hard stuff before 5 p.m.”