Atlantic Canada — Dads all across the Maritimes spent the vast majority of the Christmas holidays standing in doorways and hallways, watching movies with their hands in their pockets or their arms crossed, according to multiple reports.
“He walked in here and asked what was on. I told him I was watching Home Alone and he stood there for the whole movie, with his arms crossed, just mesmerized,” said 34-year-old Jordan McSorley, who was home visiting his parents in Boiestown, N.B. “I suggested he sit down on the couch with me, but he just kept saying he was planning to go do something else in a minute.
“Not sure what his big plans were, but he was still there when the credits started rolling, and he only left when I turned the TV off and went to bed.”
Prince Edward Island dad Mike Collins spent his break from work saying he was too busy to watch various shows and films that he nonetheless watched all of.
“What’s on?” he asked, strolling into the living room where his teenage kids were lounging around on Boxing Day. His offspring reported that the cult classic Die Hard was, in fact, on.
“Huh. Never seen it,” Collins replied. He then leaned against the wall, and stood there for the remainder of the movie, exhaling sharply through his nose during tense or amusing moments. Only after Die Hard 2 wrapped up did Collins amble away, saying, “Well, I s’pose I should get some work done.”
Retired Truro father Dale Yeomans spent a record 52 full hours over Christmas standing just outside his family room, taking in long sections of movies on Netflix that were already in progress.
“Good god, Dale, would you just sit down if you want to watch with us?! You’re making me nervous!” his wife Tricia reportedly exclaimed several times. “It’s the Trailer Park Boys Christmas special — you like that. I know you have nothing to do so you might as well just relax and enjoy the movie.”
Yeomans refused to sit, but he did periodically reach over to swipe handfuls of chips from a bowl on the couch while mumbling comments about the movie being “foolish” or “not fit to watch.”
-with files from Jimmy MacKinley