Report: That roadkill is still there

Report: That roadkill is still there

Quispamsis — The old expression “Death keeps no calendar” is being proven true this week on the Gondola Point Arterial route 119.

A new report out today reveals that a dead raccoon has been on the side of the Quispamsis road for five days, and there is no sign of any plan to remove it. Keen observers of local happenings are now monitoring the ongoing decay of the roadkill, and marvelling at the fact that no one has done anything about it yet.

“Look Herb, that raccoon is still there!” yelped 79-year-old retiree Marjorie Miller to her husband as they drove by it again for the fifth day. “I can’t believe that no one has been by to pick that up yet! What are they waiting for?”

For a few brief moments, Miller felt a mix of intense emotions including disgust at the laziness of local government, pity for the dead creature and an intense fear of her own death. In that instant, she silently and chillingly acknowledged that her own eventual death is certain — and probably soon, too — just like the horribly misshapen creature in the rear-view mirror.

During that flash, her entire life passed quickly before her eyes. Her thoughts included her first love and husband of 57 years, as well as their two daughters, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. She reflected briefly on her lifelong contributions to society where she tried to do right by others as much as possible. Her years of labour and toiling to make a better life for herself and others was indeed fruitful.

If it were all to end today, she could truly say that she had lived a good life. She was ready to die.

After a few brief seconds, her emotional eruption subsided and she sighed deeply.

When contacted, representatives for the Town of Quispamsis admitted that recent budget restrictions has spread their maintenance staff a bit thin. “We’ll try to get out there today to collect that critter,” laughed public affairs officer Mort Raton. “He’s not going to get away on us or anything, that’s for sure!”

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