Sussex — No presents under your tree this year? That might be because Santa Claus was arrested for break-and-enter after rappelling down a chimney in Sussex on Christmas Eve.
“I don’t care if he’s Santa Claus. He broke in, he took my milk and cookies, and shouldn’t get any special treatment,” said homeowner Gordon Bradshaw. “Sure, I called the cops. Somebody should have done this a long time ago.”
Bradshaw admitted he was upset that his Christmas wish for a new Xbox didn’t materialize, but denied that had anything to do with his decision to call the police and press charges.
Sussex RCMP confirmed they had a jolly fat man in a red suit in custody but declined to confirm his name or address. “The detainee will be in provincial court on Monday to answer to the charges. Until then, we have nothing more to say, except to apologize to the millions of children around the world without presents this morning. That’s the law,” said RCMP Corp. Holly Berries in an email.
Both NORAD and Google Maps show Santa starting his global gift-giving tour from the North Pole, and making it halfway around the world until tracking peters out in the small New Brunswick town known mainly for its remarkable search-engine status thanks to the viral “From Sussex and I Know It” YouTube video.