‘The Manatee’ launches apparel and merchandise store

‘The Manatee’ launches apparel and merchandise store

Atlantic Canada — The Manatee, known for ruining the days of innocent Maritimers by posting “false news,” has launched an online store to sell Manatee-themed apparel, merchandise and other swag. Co-founders Shauna Chase and Alex Vietinghoff explained that aggravating people with written articles isn’t enough; satire needs to spread through other forms for its evil to truly take hold.

“Wearing a Manatee-shirt is an easy way to ruin someone’s day,” said Chase, herself sporting a stylish, comfortable Manatee-shirt. “It’s a simple visual statement that says: ‘I support the arts and I don’t care that this website spreads lies and slander.'”

“You can also keep a Manatee mug on your desk at work so that anyone walking by gets reminded of our useless website that just spews constant negativity,” added Vietinghoff, who proceeded to take a long sip from his own Manatee mug that retains a beverage’s warmth and perfectly fits even a New Brunswicker’s hand.

In the coming months the co-founders plan to add more clothing options, designs and other appealing items such as an official Manatee book, as well as digital downloads of their gripping documentary BeerocracyThe satirists stated that they hope their fans will show their support by purchasing swag or sharing the store with others who might. Anyone wishing to visit the store can find it in the header menu of The Manatee website.

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