Moncton — As financial struggles continue for the Université de Moncton, the university’s administration has decided to change direction, capitalizing on a recent trend of people dressing up in creepy clown costumes and frightening children outside schools and public parks.
“After careful consideration, the university has made the decision to go full-clown-college and will be repurposing the arts and social sciences faculty, devoting it entirely to the art of clowning,” said a UdeM spokesperson.
The campus recently announced the possibility of cutting some of its programs, but the emergency of the crazed clown trend has proven fortuitous, and has opened up new opportunities and potential revenue streams for the school.
“Where a lot of folks just saw clowns running around terrifying people on the news, we saw career opportunities for our students,” said one administrator. “A lot of the student body already kind of look like clowns. You see a lot of guys wearing makeup, a lot of hipsters with suspenders and bowties. Stuff like that. It was a natural fit.”
“And who doesn’t love that episode of The Simpsons where Homer goes to clown college, I mean, c’mon.”
Some professors are applauding the decision as well.
“I like the idea of adding something new to the curriculum,” said one professor with the university’s faculty of education. “Here, we help form the future generation of New Brunswick teachers, and a lot of them can’t read or write anyway, so they’ll be glad to have this clown thing to fall back on. Not a lot of words involved there.”
Some of UdeM’s student body, however, have been less than pleased with the announcement.
“It’s fine to add new programs, but it sucks that they’re phasing out some real useful courses to make room,” said second-year student Rémi Allard. “I know there’s a better job placement rate for people in nightmarish, bloodied-up clown costumes than there is for gender-studies graduates, but still, both of these programs are of equal importance and the university should not favour one over the other.”
The university is also looking at expanding the program to its satellite campuses in Shippagan and Edmundston, in case the Moncton campus cannot cope with the massive influx of clown-worthy students from northern New Brunswick.
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