• About
  • Advertising
  • Write for us
  • Complaints
  • Contact
  • Support Us
  • facebook
  • twitter
  • google-plus
  • linkedin
  • youtube

blog-logo

  • NB
  • NS
  • PEI
  • NFLD
  • Politics
  • Business & Technology
  • Environment & Weather
  • Entertainment
  • Sports
  • Video
  • Support Us

9.5 out of 10 Maritime parents would disown children for seeking wedding sponsorships

0
Business & Technology, NB, News, NFLD, NS, PEI
October 17, 2017
A+ A-
Email Print

Posted by Manatee Staff

9.5 out of 10 Maritime parents would disown children for seeking wedding sponsorships

Atlantic Canada — With a new craze sweeping the nation that sees engaged couples, mostly millennials, seek personal sponsorships to help pay for some of their upcoming nuptials, The Manatee decided to conduct a survey to find out how parents around Atlantic Canada felt about this new trend.

“Absolutely disgusting,” scoffed Mike Edwards, as he cleared his throat loudly and spit to relieve his chronic smoker’s cough.

The father of two has lived in New Glasgow his entire life and doesn’t believe in deodorant. “If my angel Tiffany told me that her dress was going to be tinted in that awful pale green colour that Sobeys uses I think I’d be sick. And if Darren were to float up to the ceremony in a big Blue Canoe I’d just be so ashamed. Although if he were marrying a girl I might be able to get over it…my god I’m worried about that one…”

“Greedy little bastards!” yelled Thomas White of St. John’s, father of one. “When I got married it cost about $1,000. I borrowed a suit, set up shop in the backyard and then we all went down the Legion for a real bender. Man, those were the days.

“I really don’t know how kids these days got so screwed up; they’re all so stupid like my Troy and don’t know a damn thing about money.” White then hopped into his $70,000 Chevy Silverado, which he financed with $0 down over 7 years, and sped off to the nearest Orangestore to buy a couple lotto tickets for this week’s draw, something he’s done faithfully for the past 35 years.

“Disown them? I’d figgin’ shoot them!” said Tammy MacDonald of Coxheath. The mother of four, who doesn’t drive when it snows, was adamant that she’s raised her children to know better. “Us Capers EARN our keep. If any of my kids wanted a big fancy wedding they sure as hell wouldn’t get a dime from me. A little hard work never hurt anyone and kids these days just seem to be getting lazier and lazier.”

MacDonald quickly dismissed herself because she had to make it to the bank before it closed. “This E.I. cheque isn’t gonna cash itself!”

Editor’s note: If you are interested incorporating a branded Manatee top hat into your wedding ceremony we’d be pleased to provide them to you free of charge (subject to a non-refundable deposit of $50 per hat, shipping extra).

Share this:

  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)
  • More
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window)
  • Click to print (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Skype (Opens in new window)

Related

Tagged with
  • Atlantic Canada
  • Chevy
  • disown
  • logo
  • Maritimes
  • marriage
  • millennial
  • Sobeys
  • sponsorships
  • Tim Hortons
  • wedding
Newer PostSears closures force Gallant to have speedy, secret wedding to protect gift registry
Older PostBREAKING: NB hunter seeks help finding lost camo Alpine pack

Share your thoughts. We reserve the right to remove comments. Cancel reply

Subscribe

Get the latest news straight to your inbox.

Popular

item-thumbnail

N.B. population boom to be mitigated by new jail, Higgs says

0January 12, 2023
item-thumbnail

New Brunswick to replace French immersion with Duolingo subscriptions

0January 23, 2023
item-thumbnail

Report: Couple again vows to do ‘everything differently’ during holidays next year

0December 29, 2022
item-thumbnail

New Brunswick to add plow attachments to school buses

0January 24, 2023

Random

item-thumbnail

Liberals to raise HST to 25 percent, tell baby boomers to ‘suck it up’

2March 19, 2015
item-thumbnail

Sobeys proposes to buy Co-op, people shocked it still exists

1April 28, 2015
item-thumbnail

Thieves stealing gold wire from Saint John sewers

0March 31, 2017
item-thumbnail

Lawyer for ‘murder hornets’ seeks to change clients’ names to ‘manslaughter hornets’

0May 7, 2020

Comments

Ray Davidson said:

How can I convince others, on a FB share, that the Manatee is nothing but satire?

Melissa said:

I fuckin' knew it!

James Dean said:

Man what the fuck are you talking about

nicacovo avocoto said:

hamburger cheeseburger bigmac whopper

Top Articles & Pages

  • 'The Littlest Hobo' getting gritty new remake
  • New Brunswick to add plow attachments to school buses
  • ATVs to be given access to all roads, trails in New Brunswick
  • P.E.I. detonates Confederation Bridge to block COVID-19 carriers
  • Bathurst opens gentlemen's club
  • '90s French teachers confirm that Dimoitou has died
  • Plaster Rock cult sets sights on entire province
  • N.B. population boom to be mitigated by new jail, Higgs says
  • New Brunswick to replace French immersion with Duolingo subscriptions
  • Confirmed: The snowplow driver hates you

Archives

Disclaimer:

Disclaimer and legal liability can be found here.

My Tweets

Support This Site

If you like what we do please support us on Ko-fi!

© 2023 The Manatee . Designed by Wpinhands
Scroll