
Dieppe — Forty-year-old Jeanne Thibodeau was perturbed this morning when she was carded while attempting to buy 3 bottles of Copper Moon wine at her local liquor store. The Dieppe native became livid when she was turned down outright and asked to leave the store.
When Thibodeau presented her drivers’ licence showing her Feb. 29, 1976 birthday, the sales attendant at ANBL told her that as there have only been 10 occurrences of a 29th day in the second month since 1976, she is in fact only 10 years old, and may not browse the store unsupervised.
“Rules are rules,” stated Jeremie Bernard, store supervisor. “Logic states that if she has only technically had 10 birthdays, she is 10 years old. The drinking age is still 19, last I checked.”
Thibodeau left in anger and contacted The Manatee right away. She asked us to state, for the record, that she:
-Has a valid drivers’ licence and owns a vehicle;
-Has been married for 11 years;
-Has 3 children;
-Has a mortgage, and;
-Has a job at Service New Brunswick.
“How could a 10-year-old do these things? How?” cried Thibodeau in frustration.
“It is our understanding that, as an employee of Service New Brunswick, it is entirely possible that Mrs. Thibodeau could have fabricated a false drivers’ licence in order to obtain alcohol at our various locations. ANBL wishes Mrs. Thibodeau a happy 10th birthday and has no further comment on the matter.”
To add insult to injury, the provincial department of Child Protection showed up at Thibodeau’s home shortly after the incident to investigate how a child could safely raise other children and provide for an unemployed husband.
“All documents show that she is 10, but she looks closer to 40,” said Child Protection worker Brenda Thomas. “Any rational person could see that the individual in question has Benjamin Button’s Disease. We’re confident any New Brunswick-trained doctor would support this hypothesis.”
A Leap Day awareness activist group that formed this morning in Dieppe, calling themselves “L.E.A.P” or “Leap-day Equality for All People,” have rallied to chip in the $25 to buy 2 bottles of red and one bottle of white Copper Moon, before the ANBL sale finishes. “It’s the least we can do,” said one activist. “I had to go to the liquor store anyway.”
“I’ve faced anti-Leap Day discrimination for my entire life,” an irate Thibodeau told our reporter. “All 40 years of it! This is the worst birthday ever.”
you guys are a bunch of idiots.
it’s satire, what do you expect?