Charlottetown — The Gentle Island may be under a strict lockdown, but it’s business as “moo-sual” for COWS Creamery, who are carving out a new market during the COVID-19 outbreak.
“Well, we’re not currently operating at full cow-pacity — our stores are now open for takeout orders only — but we’re launching a new flavour that will mean moo-vellous opportunities for growth even during these trying times,” said COWS marketing representative Molly Holstein.
“Desperate times call for desperate moo-sures, after all. We toyed with calling the new flavour ‘State of Cow-mergency’ or ‘Cow-Rantine’ or ‘Moooove at Least 6 Feet Away’ or ‘Cow-Ronavirus’ or something like that, but these didn’t have the same ring to them. Your first idea is often your best, as they say.”
Islanders can call any COWS location to order their entirely sanitary tub of COWVID-19, which is a random flavour made up of all the ice cream that didn’t sell during the summer. Like the virus, its taste is unpredictable.
The Islanders who’ve risked leaving their houses to get their hooves on a sample have not been disappointed.
“Mm, I love it!” cried Becky Gallant, 32, of Charlottetown. “It’s definitely not in poor taste…in fact it’s delicious!”
“It’s udderly delightful!” confirmed Norman Albright of North Rustico. “I let mine melt in the sun a bit so I can sip it through a straw under my facemask.”
COWS hopes that, unlike the coronavirus, sales of COWVID-19 increase exponentially through the coming months and into summer.
“We hope it cow-tches on,” enthused Holstein, “and that people spread the love for this new flavour all over — it’s cow-ntagious!”