Sussex — The rampant speculation about Harry and Meghan’s new post-“Megxit” home ended earlier today.
Representatives for the Duke and Duchess of Sussex announced that the royal couple is planning to make their new Canadian home in the dairy capital of the Maritimes — Sussex, N.B.
“Meghan and Harry have always loved Canada, and being in a place called Sussex is very ‘on brand’ for them,” said royal representative Roy Larenne. “They were searching for a place that very few people knew about, and almost no one has heard of Sussex, New Brunswick. It was perfection!”
Harry and Meghan are purchasing a small hobby farm in an undisclosed location on the outskirts of the small dairy town. “His Royal Highness has already bought himself a camouflage jacket, a Ford F-150 and work boots so he can blend in with other New Brunswickers,” said Larenne. “They are also unemployed, so there’s that too.”
Beginning next month, the Duke and Duchess will begin receiving an enormous grant from the provincial government’s economic development agency. “One hundred per cent of our budget is now going to Harry and Meghan,” said Opportunities NB CEO Amanda Stund. “We don’t know how this will create jobs yet, but this is definitely the biggest thing to ever happen to this province! We are going all in on this! Whatever happens, it won’t be worse than Atcon!”
When asked if there was anything that put Sussex over the top, Larenne said there was one thing in particular that enchanted the red-headed duke.
“Apparently you have something called Sussex ginger ale which really captured his imagination. He said it’s as though it was created just for him, and he really enjoys it. Actually, he drinks several litres of it every day and he’s started to gain quite a bit of weight.
“So, very soon he’ll be indistinguishable from your average New Brunswicker!”