‘Dungeons and Dragons’ parents to gov’t: ‘#LetThemPlay’

‘Dungeons and Dragons’ parents to gov’t: ‘#LetThemPlay’

Miramichi — Parents of Dungeons and Dragons enthusiasts from across the province are sending a clear message to Premier Higgs: let them play.

On Monday, the provincial government announced temporary measures in response to arrival of Omicron variant in New Brunswick. Amongst them was the suspension of children’s sports competitions, games and organized activities until further notice.

While the disappointment and frustration among sports parents and athletes is palpable, the restrictions are also having a severe impact on lovers of role-playing games.

“It’s not fair!” complained D&D parent Dawn Jons. “Our kids have lost enough development time due to the pandemic, they shouldn’t have to suffer especially when they are fully vaccinated! My son’s character should be thousands of XP’s higher, but he can’t level up if he can’t play!”

Her son agrees. “I’ve been building this mage character for months and I finally got this new summoning spell, and now this happens,” groaned the 15-year old wizard. “When I heard this announcement, it’s like I lost 100 hit points from a single blow. Usually I’m lawful neutral, but this whole situation makes me feel chaotic evil!

“My dungeon master was supposed to invite a elven ranger this week, and he was going to introduce me to her. I hear she has +10 charisma! I was going to role the 20-sided dice and ask her to go to a movie. Now, I might as well cast a 6th level disintegrate transmutation on those plans!”

When asked for comment, Premier Blaine Higgs looked dumbfounded and said, “I don’t know what any of this means.” Meanwhile, Dr. Jennifer Russell is rumoured to be perfecting her cosplay for when restrictions eventually lift.

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