The Maritimes — According to every single person with lips and a mouth in the Maritime provinces, Mother Nature did not get the memo that Tuesday, March 20 was the first day of spring.
“What’s up with this weather? I thought it was spring!” said every single goddamned person, even though they know that’s not how seasons work. “I guess Mother Nature didn’t get them memo!” everyone joked in unison, winking with wry smirks.
The vernal equinox is the astronomical event in the calendar year when Northern Hemisphere of the Earth starts to tilt toward the sun again, which means longer, sunnier days. For this reason, it also marks the end of the winter season and the beginning of springtime. It also marks the week-long period where everyone makes the same frickin’ joke over and over and over again — especially when it snows.
“Hey, it’s a nice spring day in New Brunswick…I guess Mother Nature didn’t get the memo,” joked Prime Minister Justin Trudeau in Sussex on Thursday, to which the crowd responded with mild laughter.
At the exact same time, a nine-year-old girl slipped on the sidewalk in Charlottetown and sarcastically noted, “Ha, nice spring weather…pffffffft!”
Simultaneously in Oxford, two octogenarian friends clapped each other on the back, squinting into the snowflakes. “Happy spring, Harold!” one of them laughed. “I guess no one told Mother Nature!” responded the other.
Behavioural scientists now estimate that 92 per cent of small talk in the Maritimes between March 20-25 will remark with mock sarcasm on how Mother Nature didn’t magically transform the region into a lush, warm springtime paradise at the moment the spring season started.
“At least it’s better than ‘Cold enough for ya?‘ I guess,” remarked one grouchy The Manatee reporter.