NB Power withdraws ‘weather tax,’ proving once and for all that complaining online gets results

NB Power withdraws ‘weather tax,’ proving once and for all that complaining online gets results

New Brunswick — Rejoice and be relieved, all ye New Brunswickers! It is a proud day for internet complainers everywhere, namely for those in Canada’s lesser known province of New Brunswick, who learned earlier today that the controversial “weather tax” has been withdrawn by NB Power.

The proposed tax, which would have seen a rate adjustment to help cover the numerous expenses needed to fix any damage that the slew of unforgiving winter storms cause the province, has now become a hypothetical scenario narrowly avoided by the taxpayers.

“Yay! Do you like me now?” online user @TheRealBrianGallant posted below a CBC article covering the retracted proposal. His sentiment is evidently shared by the masses, who saw fit to upvote his comment to a whopping +12, though the simple reply of “no” given by another user rose to +64.

The province, which has been drowning in debt for as long as most can remember, would have benefited from the tax, according the NB Power VP Darren Murphy. The proposed tax would only increase transparency about how the costs get collected, “not if the costs get collected,” he said, clearly disappointed that his Christmas bonus will not be as high. While also admitting that the tax was “not necessary,” Murphy said that it stemmed from a proposal made seven years prior by the Alward government in an effort to lessen the $1 billion in debt.

The annual budget for storm damage for New Brunswick is $3 million, though the ice storm of 2017 in the northeastern portion of the province alone cost a reported $30 million to clean up. “It’s a real issue and we need to find a real solution,” said pogey-bum and CBC.ca commenter Alex Harrison, “but the internet isn’t a place for real solutions; it’s a place for complaining. It feels nice to get a win.”

Riding the high from his victory, Harrison told The Manatee that he now planned on turning his sights toward another battle, one he thinks will be aided by his illustrious whining techniques.

“The solution to all this winter-storm cleanup crap is simple: eradicate winter. I’ve already been given a restraining order by Cindy Day, who apparently ‘doesn’t control the weather,’ or something, but I figure if I complain loudly and obnoxiously enough online eventually someone will agree with me. Let’s get this global-warming show underway!”

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