Fredericton — Remember the days when senior citizens were thought of as slow-moving, harmless members of society? Apparently, there are some concerned individuals in the capital city who believe that the “baby boomer” senior is out of control.
Early Friday morning City Hall heard complaints from an association calling themselves the “Seniors Watch Group,” a protest club against unruly seniors. The Manatee caught up with Hanna Jameson, the group’s spokesperson, to discuss the purpose of the organization and their concerns. According to Jameson, the members of the group believe baby boomers to be “a menace to society.” While the group started only a few months ago, they have made their voices heard by protesting in front of nursing homes in and around the Fredericton region.
Jameson said concerned parents have contacted the SWG because they believe their kids are buying weed from nursing home residents. “Many parents were initially happy to hear that their kids were hanging out at a seniors’ homes,” she told us, “but then they would come home smelling of pot.” A Manatee reporter quizzed a Fredericton High School student about the marijuana allegations, and he simply responded, “Who knew old people were so cool? They have the best dope.”
“I have worked at the Dr. Everett Chalmers Hospital for more than 15 years,” commented Sarah Holmes, a 41-year-old nurse and mother of two. “The new influx of ‘baby boomer’ seniors is disconcerting. They yell at me to ‘hook them up,’ sometimes violently demanding their medication.”
Drugs are not the only issue with seniors — apparently promiscuity is also on the rise. “Just the other day I saw two seniors having sex in a rather precarious position,” Holmes continued, “not a care in the world, right in plain sight in the lobby. They could break a hip!”
Yet another problem is reckless driving in the busy streets of Fredericton. “What happened to the elderly people of the past who drove with caution, who actually drove under the speed limit?” Jameson asked rhetorically. “Now we have seniors cutting people off, cursing at defensive drivers for being too slow — it’s truly frightening! Baby boomers have major entitlement issues.”
During the interview with the Seniors Watch Group, The Manatee reporter noticed an intimidating group of seniors beginning to gather outside city hall. “What’s wrong with the generation of today? All they do is complain — they need an ass-kicking!” one elderly lady yelled out. “Grow some balls!”
“I am here to protect the rights of the elderly!” cried Jack Johnson, a 70-year-old NB Power retiree. “I worked all my life, I retired at 60, and I’m going to live the way I want to and drive the way I want to. I have a good pension — I earned it.”
“Life’s short, so I drive fast,” added June Ferguson, a retired schoolteacher. “You see all these young parents with ‘baby on board’ signs on the back of their cars; they’re the real danger. They drive too slow!”
“I am so disappointed in my own kids,” said Sam Cook, a former government worker. “They live in the bubble. With the quality of drugs out there today and the limitless supply of Red Bull, nothing slows me down!”
According to Jameson, the serious issue of senior entitlement can no longer be overlooked.
“The SWG needs to be heard,” she said. “We will be heard.”