Fredericton — The roundabout on Fredericton’s north side is finally complete, and that means the capital city has one more much-needed attraction to its name. Since most residents have fully exhausted our summer date ideas, they’re now planning nights on the town centred solely around visiting the new roundabout.
“Friday is date night in our house,” said Sarah Quentin of Nashwaaksis, “so I’ve hired a babysitter, and we’re going to go take some selfies by the new roundabout. If there’s still time we might see a movie, but I think just the drive will be exciting enough.”
“It’s cool because most of my southside friends haven’t even been through it yet — suckers!” said Doug Harrison of Marysville. “In a couple minutes I’m gonna go up through Two Nations Crossing and head right down to the Sobeys in the Brookside Mall without having to go way the heck down by the Westmorland Street Bridge and loop back up around. So as you can see it’s not only fun, but it’s convenient, too!”
Construction crews admitted that they took ages to complete the project because even working on a new roundabout is pretty entertaining by Fredericton standards.
“We sorta tried to draw out that work as long as humanly possible,” explained foreman Arthur Holton. “I mean, what else am I supposed to do with myself? Go look at the leaves changing? Walk around downtown and check out the shops? Gimme a break. Creating a roundabout is as good as it gets for amusement this side of Montreal.”
“I never did learn how to use that darn uptown roundabout,” said Reese Hanson of Devon. “Yeah, I tried — don’t get me wrong — but that got old after a while. It’s great that us northsiders have a new challenge to while away the long days on. I’m caught up on all my shows so there’s really nothing else to do.”
Fredericton Police are warning motorists that it’s still not OK to text while driving, even when in the exciting new roundabout.
“Yes, please wait until your car has come to a complete stop before posting roundabout pictures to Facebook or texting your friend about how sweet it is,” said Chief Leanne Fitch. “We completely understand how thrilling literally anything new can be in Fredericton, but the rules of the road have not changed.”