Fredericton — After a long and contentious political battle, New Brunswick’s minority Liberal government has been defeated in a confidence vote held by the legislature.
Consequently, Premier Brian Gallant has finally conceded the election, resigning his position and handing it over to Progressive Conservative Leader Blaine Higgs.
While Gallant has stated that he wants the changeover to be “amicable,” he also wanted to make his displeasure with the decision known to the incoming government.
Evidently, he intended to communicate his discontent by farting in his office as much as humanly possible before passing it along to Higgs in a form of silent (but deadly) protest, as reporters found while being allowed in the room to speak with him earlier today.
“Listen, it’s been a tough couple of weeks for the province, but I’m ready to move on and hand over this office to Mr. Higgs,” Gallant told The Manatee, wolfing back his fourth Taco Bell burrito that hour. “And, as a sign of good faith, I’m leaving a couple of…hgnh presents for him when he gets here.”
Later, after Gallant had finished packing up his things, Higgs arrived to check out the digs. With a triumphant air, he tossed open the doors to his new office.
“Ah, the sweet smell of victory,” he said, breathing deeply.
“…Oh dear god.”