Fredericton — Premier Brian Gallant may soon be making the transition from politician to reality TV star as New Brunswickers have unanimously nominated him for a slot on the new Discovery Channel show Canada’s Worst Premier.
Based on show Canada’s Worst Driver, which is based on Britain’s Worst Driver, this new spinoff will unite the least popular Canadian politicians at a “Premier Rehabilitation Centre” where they will compete in challenges aimed at improving their governing skills.
“Come on… who nominated me?!” asked a cheeky Gallant, unaware that every single one of his constituents personally wrote to Discovery Channel to ask them to feature the New Brunswick premier in the show’s first season. “Was it my mom? Uncle Ron? Don Arseneault? Who!?”
Premier Gallant said he’s already preparing for the challenges he’ll face on the show, which could include such bizarre tasks as answering the public’s questions about his own policies, sitting quietly through an entire Legislature meeting without even an iPad to look at, following through on a promise, or doing a one-on-one interview with a reporter from a legitimate news organization.
At the end of the second episode, each contestant will meet with a panel of 4 political experts who will evaluate their performance. Afterward, the panel will discuss which premier they think has improved enough to graduate from the Premier Rehabilitation Centre. That premier will be dismissed to return to their home province. The final premier — the one who simply can’t improve at the end of the season — will win a trophy, two tickets to a Nickelback concert, and the coveted title of Canada’s Worst Premier.
The host of the show, former prime minister Stephen Harper, said he couldn’t be more excited to assess these premiers’ abilities.
“When they asked me to be the host, I was over the moon,” said Harper from his cabin in an undisclosed location in rural New Brunswick. “I friggin’ knew Canadians loved me. I am a pretty charismatic guy, and I have a thing or two to teach these amateurs about politics.
“Not to mention I’m in a band — make sure to watch, because we just may be making a surprise musical appearance!” he said with a deeply unsettling wink.
The other contestants who will be featured on Canada’s Worst Premier include Nova Scotia’s Stephen McNeil, Prince Edward Island’s Wade MacLauchlan and Newfoundland’s Dwight Ball.*
*Discovery Channel assured us that the fact that all this season’s contestants are Maritimers is “pure coincidence.”