Fredericton — Brian Gallant has come to his own defence in response to a recent article that uncovered that he was nominated as a contestant for a new reality show where he would compete to become the nation’s worst premier.
“I understand they’re simply covering the news,” explained a surprisingly rational Gallant, “but they just didn’t get the whole story. They didn’t ask me if I should be nominated, they didn’t ask for the name of my hairdresser, they didn’t ask my mom and they didn’t even ask that cute Starbucks barista who always flirts with me by asking me my name — like she doesn’t know who I am.”
The New Brunswick leader said he first came upon the embarrassing Manatee article when he received a notification from Google that there was a new search result for his name.
“I have Google alerts set to let me know when anyone anywhere says anything about me,” he admitted. “It’s not vain though — it’s mostly just so I can read all the good things people say about my hair and my smile.”
Gallant demanded that news outlets print his side of the story and submitted his own photo to go along with it. The photo, displayed in this story, is a poorly edited version of the photo attached to the original article published on Wednesday.
“It was pretty simple to make,” said a proud Gallant. “I just whited out the middle part, found a Best Buy logo and painted over the word ‘Buy’. I’m pretty clever, I know. I actually used that logo for another project too where I changed the second ‘b’ to a ‘g’ and made some name tags for myself.”
At the extreme urging of the premier, our reporter asked Gallant’s mother for her comments.
“Brian is such a good boy,” she gushed. “He never forgets my birthday unless he’s really busy and he has an amazing smile — he’s certainly one of my favourite premiers we’ve ever had here.”