Greco Pizza begins delivering bad news

Greco Pizza begins delivering bad news

Moncton — Since 1977, the restaurant chain Greco Pizza has been feeding Maritimers at their doorsteps. Earlier this year, however, the company quietly embarked on a controversial expansion.

“We didn’t advertise our new service because word-of-mouth is the most effective form of advertising,” said chairman of the board of Trucorp Investments Inc., Bill Baylor. The new service allows for emotionally difficult words to be uttered by delivery drivers on behalf of customers.

Cynthia Fry of Chipman, N.B. was one of the first to be on the losing end of one of these deliveries: “I heard a car pull up, looked out the window and saw a red Pontaic Sunfire still running. A man knocked at the door, panting. I opened it and he said ‘Your husband doesn’t love you anymore… that’ll be $22.50.’ I was shocked.”

A week after Fry received her message, Heather Bungay of Woodstock witnessed a similarly strange incident: “Our company’s summer picnic was catered by Greco. When the pizza was all gone we noticed writing on the inside-bottom of the box. It said that management was restructuring and that we all had 24 hours to clean out our lockers.”

Bungay’s eyes began to well up. “Then we all had diarrhea.”

grecoWhen asked whether the new venture posed a difficult ethical choice for Trucrop’s board of directors, Baylor emphatically shook his head. “If you’re willing to put hot dogs in a pizza crust, you vote yes on this one without question.”

The Manatee managed to reach Don Harding, the Chipman delivery driver who informed Cynthia Fry of her husband’s wish to leave her.

Harding shrugged at each question, appearing indifferent. Baylor offered the following explanation: “All our drivers now take a thorough empathy test… if they fail with flying colours, they are Greco Pizza material.” When pressed, Harding would repeatedly offer the phrase, “nice night tonight.”

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