Jack Frost pleads pardon for premature precipitation

Jack Frost pleads pardon for premature precipitation

New Brunswick — The early snowfall that hit the province on Friday came as a surprise to most, but none more than the man who precipitated it: Jack Frost.

“I swear to god this hardly happens,” he told the Manatee, wearing an embarrassed grimace. “I-I’m usually much better at controlling myself.”

While he made no excuses for the premature emission, saying only that it likely had to do with a particularly intense desire to bring this particular year to a close. 

“I don’t know. I just got over-excited, I guess,” he explained. “2019 has been pretty tough for all of us, and seeing as how I tend to signal the end of a given year, I must have been just a little too eager this time around.”

Of course, Frost is not the only one to be affected by this. Mother Nature, for example, was not given nearly enough time to complete her usual fall customs. 

“No…No, I didn’t get to finish,” she said, with a resigned shrug. “Oh well. There’s always next year, I suppose.” 

But is there? With climate change progressing at such an alarming rate, Frost expressed some concern that he might no longer be able to “perform” like he once had.

“There will probably come a time — likely sooner rather than later — that Ol’ Man Winter here won’t be able to make it happen at all,” said Frost, wearing a rueful smile. 

“So, as humiliating as this all is, I still have to remember that it’s the lesser of two evils.” 

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