Ottawa — Kevin O’Leary, a popular businessman and television and radio personality, is running to become the leader of the Conservative Party of Canada.
O’Leary, who announced his intentions Wednesday via Facebook, took the opportunity to show off a selfie of his new hairstyle, acquired earlier that day. “I had to update my look to, you know, appeal to potential voters,” he told our reporter. “You like it? I think it makes me look powerful, and more dynamic. Definitely more youthful. I mean, I have the best hair. The best.”
We spoke with O’Leary’s hairstylist, Megan Harris, 25, of Wigz n Thingz salon in Ottawa. “He came in Wednesday morning, sat in a chair, and hollered, ‘Ladies, make me look like a million bucks. No, make it 10 million. No — a billion!’ and sat there grinning like an idiot,” Harris explained. “The guy was pretty much bald; I told him we can’t work miracles but I’d see what I could do.
“First I just gave him a trim, but he wasn’t impressed. He said he wasn’t paying top dollar to look like some irrelevant old guy. So I went over his options with him and he settled on that… thing. I’m pretty embarrassed actually. Don’t tell anyone I did it, please.”
O’Leary said he wanted to emulate the great hairstyles of other powerful politicians. “Trudeau, now he has great hair. But he’s what, 45? It’s all downhill for that guy. But me, well, just look at it.” At that moment a gust of wind swept over his head, revealing a sizable bald patch under the wispy yellowish strands. “Ugh, crap, hang on a second here,” he said, hurriedly rearranging his mop.
O’Leary said he also plans to conduct a Facebook poll to ask people what they think of his skin tone. “I think it could be oranger,” he mused, seemingly unaware that “oranger” is not a word. “Yeah, oranger. For sure.”