Ottawa — It’s debate night in Canada! Just like February 29, today is a day that comes only once every four years and political junkies are super-excited.
For everyone else, it’s the night where politicians take over your TV and your shows get all screwed up. But if you do happen to watch for the first 20 minutes until you fire up Netflix, here is our top 6 list of things to watch for in tonight’s Leaders’ Debate.
6. Everyone trying to remember the Bloc Quebecois guy’s name — Is it Jacques or maybe Pierre? I’m not even going to try to remember the last name. During this election, Bloc talk has been at an all-time low. Unless he brings up separation for some ungodly reason, the Bloc candidate will be politely ignored and rarely addressed by name.
5. How many times Maxime Bernier gives Jagmeet Singh “side eye” — Even though Jameet Singh is Canadian as maple syrup, fringe anti-immigrant candidate Maxime Bernier will glare uncomfortably at him when he thinks no one is looking. When this happens, finish your beer.
4. Elizabeth May photoshop — Now that May’s staff was caught altering a throw-away cup into a reusable one with a metal straw, keep a watchful eye open for what granola item they will photoshop next. Our money is on a fancy solar panel hat or maybe a windmill backpack.
3. Andrew Scheer eating sugar — We maintain our position that Andrew Scheer is at least one-half Christmas elf. And just like a hummingbird, he will pass out if he doesn’t consume some type of sugar every five minutes. We suspect his water glass will be filled with high-fructose corn syrup.
2. Jagmeet Singh’s magnificent beard — As an observant Sikh, Jagmeet Singh leaves his beard uncut. But, most men secretly would love to have a beard like his but don’t because their wives would never go near them again. Watch for the guys to behold the beard enviously when Singh is speaking.
1. Trudeau’s makeup — After Justin Trudeau’s startling lack of judgment regarding facial makeup in the past, anything is possible when it comes to his complexion. Watch closely to see what shade his face appears to be tonight. There is a persistent rumour that Trudeau may show up in “greenface” to mock Hulks and Gumbys.