Wolfville — Fifty-two-year-old Dave McGrath of Wolfville, N.S. always manages to enter the room during the most violent or raunchy part of every movie or show, according to his son Ryan, 18, and daughter Michelle, 20, who both still live at home. The younger McGraths regularly have their entertainment interrupted by their father, who promptly turns off the TV and insists “there must be something better to watch.”
“When it first started happening we thought it had to be a fluke; I mean, how did he know the exact moment in a show when a character would curse up a storm or say something personally offensive to Dad?” said Michelle. “But it’s been over a decade now, and he’s pulled it off flawlessly each time — I don’t think I’ll ever see a full movie until I get my own place, but even then Dad will probably drive by my house, see the TV on, and casually ‘drop in’ right in the middle of a sex scene or something.”
Ryan and Michelle cited dozens of examples to back up their claim.
“There was the time he interrupted Donnie Darko during the infamous ‘Smurfette’ scene,” said Ryan, rolling his eyes. “He was like, ‘I leave the room for one second and you two put on something this disgusting and depraved? I thought I raised you better!’ It was totally taken out of context… I explained that it’s how a lot of teenage boys actually speak and the film was capturing that, and he flew right off the handle.”
“Then there was the time we were watching Saving Private Ryan, one of the best war movies ever, and he walked in to ask us if we wanted any snacks or drinks,” said Michelle. “Of course, right when he entered the room, the ‘Omaha Beach’ scene was playing, which is super violent. He stayed for 4 awkward minutes, shaking his head and muttering the entire time. I said the movie was depicting the harsh realities of war, and he said Hollywood glamorizes war with ‘trash’ like this. He finally went upstairs, but by that point we started to believe we were actually horrible people for watching any movie, and had to turn it off.”
“The worst time of all was when he walked in during Titanic,” Ryan recalled. “Of course — of course! — during the 3 hours and 15 minutes of that movie, he happened to ‘check in’ during the scene where Leo is painting Kate ‘like one of his French girls.’ Dad gasped and turned the TV off on the spot. I told him it was artistic, not pornographic, but he was having none of it.”
“You’re forgetting the time we were watching Office Space,” countered Kate. “Dad walked in during the classic ‘printer’ scene… his face went white and he started sputtering about ‘corrupt’ rap music and how all those characters had a ‘bad attitude toward work.’ I told him it was one of the most funny and poignant scenes in comedic history, but he said I needed to get my head examined.”
The elder McGrath reportedly offers frequent solutions to the “degenerate garbage proffered by mainstream media” such as “renting a G-rated movie we can all agree on” or “getting outside for some fresh air.”