Local woman says better instructions needed about where to pee on rapid tests

Local woman says better instructions needed about where to pee on rapid tests

Moncton — After unsuccessfully using all three boxes of rapid tests sent home from school, a Moncton woman says there needs to be clearer instructions on exactly where to pee on the COVID-19 point of care tests.

Pipi Hickey, a 37-year-old mother of five, says that while the rapid tests are extremely clear on what to do with the swabs and how to use the solution, the instructions are completely silent about where to pee.

“Sure, I’ve got the whole swab up the nose and even my throat figured out, and I think I’m using the solution right,” she said. “But really I’m just 100 per cent guessing about where and how to pee on this thing. Every time I ask for help online, nobody knows what I’m talking about or they just reply with laughing emojis. It’s very unhelpful.”

Hickey says that she’s done dozens of similar tests in the past, but the instructions accompanying the rapid tests are very poorly written. “I’ve tried to all sorts of weird positions to pee on the test itself, and I’ve tried peeing on the swabs too. At the end of the day, I’ve just got wet hands and a ruined test. It’s so frustrating!”

New Brunswick’s chief medical officer, Dr. Jennifer Russell, was asked about Hickey’s plight at the province’s Thursday news conference. After staring blankly for about 10 seconds, Russell stood up and left mumbling, “I can’t anymore. This was the straw. This was the straw that broke me.”

Hickey said this needs to be cleared up before the kids return to school next week. “Look, I’m not a scientist. The instructions just need to be better. I can’t be the only one not able figure this out.”

“Also,” she concluded, holding up a little plastic jar, “where the hell do I send the urine samples?”

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