Charlottetown — Atlantic Canadians are sighing in relief today as most stores are closed due to inclement weather, making it impossible for them to go out and purchase Valentine’s Day gifts to give to their loved ones tomorrow. Most are also secretly crossing their fingers that the blizzard continues for long enough that they can skip Valentine’s Day altogether.
“I made a reservation at the Gahan House for dinner tomorrow night, but if this weather holds out, we’ll get to stay in and eat tuna sandwiches and save my money,” said Charlottetown man Ryan Morgan. “I mean we’ll ‘have to’ stay in. Yeah, ‘have to.'”
Haligonian Martin Anderson said he had planned a special surprise trip to Cancun, but if flights are still cancelled tomorrow, he’ll just give his girlfriend the box of Ganong chocolates he bought for half price on Boxing Day.
“Thank god I had the foresight to get this candy as backup… there’s no way she’s expecting a big romantic trip, so hopefully she’ll be content with just snuggling up with an Alpine or two,” Anderson said, unable to hide his relief. “Things really worked out for me with this bad weather. If the resort gives me a full refund, suffice it to say this’ll be my best — and cheapest — Valentine’s to date.”
Moncton woman Sarah Hooper said she put off the dreaded Valentine’s Day shopping all weekend, planning to just grab some steaks and a nice bottle of Scotch for her husband come Monday. “But look outside!” she beamed. “I’m not going anywhere, and I’m not spending a dime on him. I’ll just tell him it’s because I don’t want us to become one of those materialistic couples who has to hemorrhage money to show that they love each other. It’s the thought that counts, yada yada. Blame the blizzard, not me!”
Even single Maritimers have expressed joy at the storm’s effects on Valentine’s Day plans.
“Every year it’s the same story; log in to Facebook and see mushy posts showing off gifts and roses and special dinners,” lamented perpetually single man Kyle Burnett. “This year, everyone has to celebrate it the way I do: sitting on the couch watching Netflix, eating ice cream right out of the tub. Take that, lovebirds!”