Moncton — In the same week that it was reported that five people were stopped for inadvertently breaking the little-known “move-over” law, It was revealed that even more motorists are being given fines for violating the recently enacted “made-ya-look” law — an infraction that comes with a hefty $400 fine.
Some are claiming that the police action is tantamount to schoolyard bullying. The force vehemently disagrees.
“Hey man, the law’s the law,” said Officer Porter, loudly chewing a piece of gum. “It’s not our fault if some nerds are too dumb to question authority.”
The law has been in effect since 2016, but many people remain unaware of it. The process works like this: the officer picks a car at random, flashes their lights and orders them to pull over.
“Once they roll their window down, you go, ‘Hey, your seatbelt is undone,’” Officer Porter explained. “Then, when they go to check, it’s like, ‘Ha! Gotcha!’ And you slap ‘em with a ticket.”
“I don’t think it’s fair at all,” said Doug Lynch, one of the alleged perpetrators. “I’ve obviously heard of the trick before, in grade school, but I didn’t know that falling for it was a provincial offence. Nobody told me!”
Lynch had intended to call a small press conference on Wednesday afternoon to discuss what he felt was unfair treatment at the hands of police. Unfortunately, Officer Porter had “jinxed” him just hours before, and had yet to release him from his penance of silence.
Nevertheless, Lynch made it perfectly clear in an email message that he was going to fight the charge in court.
Lynch, Officer Porter, and a small band of reporters shuffled into the courthouse on Thursday morning. Lynch took the stand.
“Put your right hand on the Bible,” said the bailiff. Lynch complied. “OK. Now spell ‘pig’ backwards and say ‘funny colors.’”