NB francophobes announce plans to keep spraypainting signs under cover of darkness

NB francophobes announce plans to keep spraypainting signs under cover of darkness

Fredericton — A large portion of New Brunswick’s population is characterized by francophobia, which is a distaste for all things French. In Canada’s only officially bilingual province, some anglophones’ aversion runs more toward abhorrence.

To show their displeasure, a group of longtime francophobes is sticking to the tried-and-true method of spraypainting over the French text on public street signs under cover of darkness.

“As soon as I started hating the French for my own personal reasons, I decided that something had to be done,” said one francophobe under the condition of anonymity. “So I got my friends together, convinced them that French is ruining New Brunswick, and then we went over to Canadian Tire to get some spraypaint. We split up after sunset and spraypainted all the bilingual signs in the city that we could find. We’ve been doing it once a week for the last few months, just to make sure the city can’t replace the signs fast enough.

“It’s the most courage we can muster with the limited resources at our disposal.”

Our reporter asked another francophobe what the group thinks it is accomplishing by blacking out the French on “stop,” “school zone” and “neighbourhood watch” signs.

“It’s sending a message,” he explained. “We don’t want our children being forced to see French in public places, and we want the upper hand in general. If we let them have the signs, what’s next?”

The Manatee asked a pedestrian near the walking bridge in downtown Fredericton for an opinion on the matter.

“What a bunch of racist hicks,” said the woman. “They need to get a life.”

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